Only For A Night
by Dragodina
Summary: First part of the "Phoenix Series". One bar. One night. One occasion. Two troubled souls that clash together with just a single agreement: It's only for a night. Contains f/f and OC.
1. Chapter I

_Only For A Night  
><span>(Part I of the Phoenix Series)  
><span>_

_A CSI Fanfiction_

_Chapter I_

_by Dragodina_

Rating: M

Main Character: Sofia Curtis

Summary:  
>First part of the "Phoenix Series". One bar. One night. One occasion. Two troubled souls that clash together with just a single agreement: It's only for a night. Contains ff and OC.

Introduction:  
>Again, at first the disclaimer that CSI, its characters, places, and situations are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis, and CBS Productions. This story was written for entertainment not monetary purposes. Original characters and this story are intellectual property of the author. Any similarities to existing characters, fictional or real, living or dead, are coincidental and no harm is intended.<p>

This story, "Only For A Night" is a prelude of my planned "Phoenis Series" that will later include a crossover between the two shows CSI and CSI: New York.

This is my second attempt to write fanfiction in English. My main language is German, but again I have a wonderful beta-reader for support.

Once again this story mainly contains femmeslash and focuses on sexual relationships between female fictional characters. So if you don't like this, then maybe you should not read any further!

This story will contain song lyrics at the beginning and end of each chapter. The rights of those songs all belong entirely to the songwriters, producers and artists. The story was inspired by several songs from Florence & The Machine as well as Scala & The Kolacny Brothers.

The main installment of this story is written in second person pronoun, whereas a later chapter is written in italics, which means it is another persons' point of view.

A long time ago I uploaded this story as one big complete single chapter. Which I admit was a bit too much. So I decided to split it up and re-edit it a bit. Looking at it now, I think it's been a good choice, though the first chapter is still gigantic, I know *g*.

At the end my "Thanks!" goes to two of my dearest friends for their support! The first special "Knuddeltakk" I want to share with my beloved "big bros'" John for his endless dedication that he gives into proof-reading my stories! The second one is directed to Dani!  
>You guys rock!<p>

* * *

><p><em>Help, I have done it again.<br>I have been here many times before.  
>Hurt myself again today.<br>And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame._

_~ Ó ~_

The deep blasting basses of an unfamiliar song filled your ears and entered your body. Every new rhythmical impulse impinged on your diaphragm like a physical blow as you downed another hasty gulp of beer, followed by a shot of deep-amber-colored Jack Daniel's. This was a desperate attempt to numb not only the sensation caused by the ongoing music, but also the tormenting thoughts and doubts that troubled your mind and your heart. After taking another mouthful, you placed the Bud down on the counter in front of you, next to the empty whiskey glass. You gripped the half-filled bottle as if it was the only holy thing left in your life. In fact, in less than four hours, you had already drunk nine beers together with six shots of Tennesse whiskey, but still, you wanted more and the night was still young.

You vaguely remembered that after your shift had ended you left the Las Vegas Police Department in a hurry and drove aimlessly through the streets for what seemed an eternity, with that iconic toothpick between your lips. You were in no hurry to go home that night.

Home for most people was the place where you were able to feel safe and secure, your personal safe haven. The place that you couldn't wait to return to, back into the arms of the one person you loved and that loved you back ...

Such a place no longer existed for you, not anymore. For you it had become one big and painful illusion, a lie, a bitter disappointment. That place now held so many painful memories, that you couldn't summon enough strength to deal with right now. The place that you had called home had been shattered to tiny little pieces weeks ago and had left you heart broken. Your heart was nothing more than a pile of fragments. The damage that had been done seemed irreparable. It had bled out leaving you in a state of apathy and numbness. It still functioned, but was now driven by instinct, without any emotion. Every beat of it stung, but somehow you had slowly started to learn how to deal and live with the pain. Instead you began to act out of character, even towards persons you trusted. People that you called family and friends. But that experience had scarred you, in many ways. Supposedly "something that didn't kill you makes you only stronger", you weren't so sure about those words anymore. You felt dead inside, almost as if you were trapped in the shell of your apparently living body. Now, when you returned home from work to your apartment all you felt was emptiness and loneliness.

So deeply sunken in your self-pity, you never realized what you were looking for in the first place until you suddenly stopped your black Ford in front of a bar that you had never been to before. The place was called 'The Italian Lounge' although honestly, you didn't care about your whereabouts, or the fact that you have never heard of that place before. All you were concerned about was that you wanted to be as far away from everything and everyone. So therefore, this was an alright start, because all you knew was that you were far outside of the metropole city, somewhere on the Range Road.

As you had spotted the red neon lights blinking in the distance, indicating the upcoming bar, something in your head had snapped so you instinctively pulled over, and parked in front of the building.

For a few long minutes after you had stopped the engine, you simply laid back in your seat, gazing into the dusk at nothing in particular. You were confused and bewildered, like a stranger caged in your own body.

Then your gaze slowly dropped down to your hands that still grabbed the steering wheel in a fearsome grip. Instantly you released your clenched fingers from the wheel and settled them on your lap. Your mind became full of thoughts racing in your head. So many questions, so few answers!

_What had become of your life?  
>What had happened that had lead you this far?<br>What had happened that you wanted to abandon all your morals and resolutions?  
>What had happened that you felt driven to simply forget everything?<em>

You weren't the kind of person who would just turn to drink if things got too difficult and complicated. You weren't the kind of person finding comfort or satisfaction in massive alcohol consumption. You weren't such a coward who would hide behind the excuses that excessive drinking could provide. Your job showed you what could happen if the witches' brew got the better, if people got addicted. You had to witness the impact of that drug far too often for your liking. It still disgusted you to see how people, even parents, neglected the world around them for the sake of just a single drink. Therefore, you couldn't find any sympathy for those idiots.

Despite this, only for this one night, you craved nothing more than to get totally drunk, and become an idiot for yourself. Even if you did know better.

However, you couldn't explain what had made you stop at this desolate place. Maybe it was that you were tired of driving aimlessly around and just wanted to find a bar were you could finally abandon yourself. A place where you could forget the whole misery that had been thrown your way lately. All you wanted was to get some relief from all your thoughts and fears and doubts only for one single night, to forget about everything that had gone wrong recently.

All you longed for was a night when you were allowed to finally drop your guard that you tried so hard to maintain in front of and for others. A heavy breakdown that no one would witness.

_If only for one night …_

Your eyes slowly lifted up, to check out the building in front of you.

If the truth be told, this bar was nothing in comparison to any of the luxury and plush casinos in Midtown and on the Strip. At the very first glance it looked shabby and very worse for wear. Strangely enough it reminded you of one of those old saloons in many of the western movies you had seen and adored in your childhood. The only thing missing that would complete the crazy illusion would be a few tumbleweeds rolling over the ground in front of the bar. Those Indian rice grasses which got torn out of the dried out desert soil from the blowing wind because its roots weren't as deeply anchored as they needed to be. Here, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the rough desert sand, with the sun radiating down on everything without mercy, it was not a surprise that everything except the flourishing city was starting to decay. So it was easy to spot the damage of the building that weathering had caused over years with simply your eyes.

For the briefest of moments you even considered re-starting the car, leaving this seemingly forlorn place behind. But then, for some inexplicable reason, you decided against that sudden urge. Instead you eyed the storefront more closely, falling into your own musings once again. If you were honest, you couldn't remember ever hearing of this place before, and wondered how this bar had survived throughout all those years as Las Vegas grew into the city of lights and sins that it had became famous for. As the city had boomed it seemed that only for this building, that time had stopped, as if locked in an eighties time warp. Maybe somehow, this was what made that bar special, what made it unique, what held a silent promise when you drove by.

Whatever the reason -a binding spell, your growing curiosity or simply just your desperate longing for a place to settle for the night- you took a deep breath, reached for the driver doors handle and left your car. You would give that place a chance. Eventually, you could get drunk anywhere, so why not here? If it indeed turned out to be a mistake, then you would just simply turn on your heels and leave it without a second thought. There were plenty of other bars you could find in which to drown your sorrows.

The music became louder with each step you took towards the bar entrance. For your dislike and the first demerit for the bar it sounded like some lame club music from one of those rising superstars. However, you didn't give a damn about the music. You could easily ignore it after a few drinks, when the alcohol began to affect your senses. You activated the central locking system of the black SUV with your car keys and only a second later spat out the toothpick your mouth had been franticly playing with ever since you had left the garage of the LVPD. The hope was that whatever was happening this night, you would find your car in exactly the same spot you left it right now, together with your badge and gun that you had stowed away in the ambiguous glove compartment of your car. The detective inside of you didn't completely trust the somber area. The job had shown you a lot of crazy things. A modern and sleek looking SUV that would be stolen in such a territory wouldn't be anything new for your colleagues. Instead, it would be a complete embarrassing situation for you. As well as that, you knew what a reckless and risky act you were about to make. Still, after everything that had happened lately, work-related as well as personal, you were sure nothing could worsen your state anymore.

However, after you opened the heavy but old wooden door and the moment your ocean-blue eyes looked up and caught the inside of the bar, you felt totally overwhelmed. The ambience of the bar did not compare to its outside appearance. It reminded you, that first impressions can be misleading. The first look had tricked you, and possibly a lot more tourists fell victim to that delusion as well. Now it slowly dawned on you how this place survived and what the main goal of the owner was. Stay ordinary, attract a few, serve them well, keep your regular guests and don't concentrate on serving the masses. The owner of this bar apparently didn't focus on the large loads of tourist, like the big casinos and hotels of Las Vegas did, but instead concentrated on keeping their loyal visitors lucid. It captivated with a high level of Mediterranean atmosphere that not only invited you to highly enjoy yourself while partying, but also gave you the opportunity to relax in one of the many secluded booths. If needed, one could even let off some steam at the billiard tables or dart boards. It most likely served extraordinary and delicious food and above all, held an unmistakable charm.

On your way in you had spotted a sign, saying that 'The Italian Lounge' had free rooms to share, which meant this place was not only a bar, but also hosted a small pensione as well.

With that realization you grinned.

For once you were lucky. Whatever state you were in after that night, you could simply order a room and sleep it off. To add to your benefit, you had applied for leave, which you were granted and that left you free of duty for the next two days. That meant, you could stay here the rest of the week, maybe even the whole weekend and nobody would care as long as you paid. Not that anybody would miss you actually, you thought dryly. So far, the plan slowly but surely had kicked into motion. From there on, nothing could hold you back.

After only a swift inspection, you aimed straight for the vacant bar in the centre of the premises and claimed one of the free seats in the row. On your way over you had made a quick calculation, noticed the few guests that occupied 'The Italian Lounge' on this Wednesday afternoon.

There was a clique of eight frisky students playing billiards in a secluded corner of the room at the billiard tables. Another group of five young men and six women was seated at a table, enjoying snacks and drinks and occasionally hit the dancefloor. Memories of your exuberant youth entered your mind which made you smile slightly. But it faded as instantly as it had emerged when you realized that nothing of that blithe and ease had remained for you. There were a few booths in the far left corner, an area that was slightly elevated by five steps in comparison to the ground floor you were standing on, but it was difficult to view the seats from your position. In the end, you let it go. Sometimes you had to remind yourself to drop your overprotective police instincts, because sooner or later it would get you paranoid. No one else sat at the bar, so you quickly occupied a vacant stool. So far it seemed like a calm night for the bartender. The crowd was manageable, as Wednesday was usually a quiet night.

The bar tender, maybe in his late forties, had eyed you the moment you entered his house. His gaze still stayed on you while he dried the last used glasses, his dishtowel hung casually over his right shoulder. Further to his right in a corner there was a small TV, showing some baseball game while the latest news ran over the screen in a small banner. As you set down and laid your hands on the bar, he had finished his work and addressed you with a broad grin, leaned his muscular arms against the counter, showing off various of his tattoos that his rolled up sleeves couldn't hide. His rough baritone voice shouted over the still playing music sounding from the stereo system in order to get through to you.

"Hello beautiful, what can I get you?".

You gave him a soft smile, wondering if it was only because of you or if he welcomed all his guests -especially woman- like this. The low grumble of your stomach caught your attention back and instead reminded you of your last meal at noon. After giving it a short thought you simply ignored his innuendo and instead answered with a question of your own.

"You still serve food?".

"Sure, whatever you want." he winked, his green eyes beaming. Never let it be said that you were smug. This man was just as self-opinionated as you, if not even more so.

"What can you suggest?" you asked casually, trying to take the wind out of his sails.

As if proof to your silent observation, he smirked in agreement. The hint of the clumsy flirtation lacing his voice at his former statement wasn't lost on you. And surely he had picked up on the unwanted ambiguity of your question, his bright smirk and upcoming leer was indication enough. Again you considered if he was putting on such a show only for you, or if it was his usual behavior to every woman that entered his bar on her own. But still, even if you were interested in men and he would be the last one on earth, you wouldn't fall for that. You would simply show him that you had no intentions, at least not with him. Maybe it was just the South European temper shining through, as it was obvious that he had Italian roots. So he might be just a charmer, knowing exactly how to enchant his female guests. How he survived for so long was a puzzle. You were surprised when instead of making another obscene comment he simply explained the house carte, staying charming but not hitting on you anymore. Maybe he just got the silent message delivered by your warning glare. The one saying he would be castrated the second he dared to voice another try.

"Everything on the menu is worth a try and a sin on its own. It depends on whether you want some casual American food or a special Mediterranean meal. How about a home made lasagna or pizza? I can also recommend our burgers and steaks.".

Noticing that nothing more lewd was coming from him, you contemplated his suggestions. Under normal conditions you would have chosen a steak or burger, but this was meant to be an extraordinary night, so instead of sticking to your habits you made it a gut decision.

"Give me that lasagna of yours." you ordered, now smiling slightly back, feeling that the waves had finally calmed between the two of you.

"Coming up! Anything to drink? Are you the wine or beer type?".

Furrowing your brows, you considered his question. Normally you would stick to beer, but you could also enjoy a good wine as well. For now, you would start with beer and see where the journey would take you later.

"A Bud if you have.".

"Of course.".

With a quick motion he turned, opened a visible fridge and with year-long routine opened the Bud bottle, setting it down in front of you only a second later. With one last wink he left your side and went to the kitchen.

You followed him with your eyes, shaking your head after he disappeared out of your line of vision and you just gazed in abstraction ahead of you.

After several minutes of only starring absent-mindedly into space, you grabbed the beer bottle in front of you without a second thought, raised it instinctively to your dry lips and downed your first swig of the night. The bitter and cooled liquor slowly crept down your throat, you seemingly felt how it followed the path of your esophagus and finally settled down in your empty stomach. You were sure, a lot more would follow soon.

Only for this night, you craved the promising oblivion that the alcohol provided. Because for once, you felt like you couldn't stand all the shit that surrounded you. Even though you knew better than to sink into self-pity.

In the distance you heard the young men at the billiard table shouting cheerfully while you further sipped on your drink. It seemed like they had finally finished their game. But the loser didn't admit defeat and instead insisted on a replay. So they started all over again after ordering a new round of drinks for everyone.

With another eager gulp, as if you were close to dying of thirst, you had emptied the whole bottle without noticing and placed it down on the counter. You waited patiently for your food to be served. Because you knew all too well that you shouldn't drink alcohol on an empty stomach and certainly not with the pace you had started. Still, you reminded yourself that tonight, you didn't want to care at all.

At one point you noticed the bartender re-emerged in front of you and you grabbed the empty bottle, signaling to him that you wanted a new one. With the same routine as before, he served you while eyeing you closely in a split of a second. The fast pace in which you drowned the liquor alerted him. So slowly it dawned on him what had led you to his bar and what your intentions were for the night. Even if you caught his burning gaze, you didn't give a damn and ignored him. This ritualistic procedure was repeated twice in the following ten minutes. It didn't take you long to take another swift sip, as he left your side again to attend another customer. You didn't pay any closer attention, just picking the few words that were exchanged and heard that the stranger ordered a bottle of vodka.

For a split of a second your curiosity got the better of you and you sneaked a peek at the person to your left. While waiting for the drink to be served the middle-seized brunette woman leaned casually against the counter. She was simply dressed in black combat pants, a dark form-fitting shirt and a pair of black work boots. Her eyes were partly hidden behind a black baseball cap, but you noticed that her gaze was directed at the TV screen to the left for quite a few seconds. Her brown hair fell elegantly down over her shoulders. If the woman was aware of your glance or not, you couldn't say. Eyeing her closer for a single moment with a frown you could confirm that from the first sight she was attractive in many ways, she also held a certain mystery and a strange charm. When the bartender returned and extended a bottle of Smirnoff vodka in front of the woman, you lowered your gaze.

What you hadn't noticed though, was that for the briefest of moments after you had torn your eyes away from her, the brunettes eyes glanced up behind her cap and had stolen a swift glance at you on her own. She paused in her movement, facing you, but only a second later she left the counter after paying cash, simply sending the bartender a curt nod with the bottle in her hand and disappeared somewhere behind your back.

Reflecting on the stranger you realized that she was definitely the type of woman you would be interested in. Though, you hadn't felt brave enough to make any move, not yet. But you could improve on that. Inspired by that thought you took another swig, felt how the alcohol slowly and dangerously started to warm your stomach.

You had to admit, that you weren't used to drink so much. You couldn't even recall the last time you had been completely intoxicated, when you had drunken yourself to oblivion and awoke with a massive hangover and an unbearable nausea. Let it be somewhere between high school and college. The only negative issue for now was, that the combination of the spirit together with your loneliness spurred your mind on even more. Instead of getting quieter, your dark thoughts started to scream for attention, the demons were beginning to gain the upper hand.

Before you could slip into that abyss, a sudden loud noise brought you back to reality, if only for a while. You noticed that the bartender had placed your ordered steaming lasagna in front of you, together with another beer bottle. Only a second later he offered you a set of cutlery. You were completely caught off-guard, your body frozen. After a minute of hesitation in which the delicious smelling food reached your nostrils you started to free from your paralysis, you took the silverware from him, trying to send him a faked and half-hearted smile in a silent thanks. You caught his genuine and soft grin that, to your surprise, held so much sympathy instead of demand in a silent answer before he turned to serve and talk to a trucker that had entered the bar.

You wondered briefly if he had really seen through you, if your depression was that obvious to your surroundings.

As you started your meal, you caught a glimpse of the TV screen in the corner that now broadcasted the latest news. Of course, it was all about the murder of Borislav Slesinger and his son Miroslav. It seemed like work was following you everywhere. No matter where you headed to escape it. Currently, Slesinger was a highly controversial legend of Las Vegas. Back in the sixties his family emigrated to America. His father, being known as a tyrannical and rich patriarch, once was a well-respected and emergent politician in the Ukraine. For years he enjoyed the trust of his countrymen. That was until the army of Nazi Germany invaded the state, killing every brave soldier who fought for the states independence and finally took over after a brutal and bloody war. To the widespread shock of his people, he had started to cooperate with the enemy, turning his back on his people for his own welfare. In so doing, he had the blood of thousands of men, women and children on his hands. For a few years he stayed at the top, until the regime was finally overthrown and he became the most wanted enemy of the state. Around the same time he was diagnosed with lung cancer. His only chance of a peaceful existence lay in his immediate departure. He took his wife and only child and left his once beloved country. After months of hiding, using his contacts and through corruption he managed to escape to the United States. There he lived until the cancer brought an end to his troubled life. He passed away before he could ever get legally punished.

Some say it ran in the genes, that it was his fathers blood that had driven Borislav, who was only known as Boris in the underworld, to be just as evil as his old man. The only difference between them was that where his father was brutal and coldhearted, the weapon of the younger Slesinger was his treacherous charisma. Over the years in Las Vegas, he had gained his own small empire. He was the owner of several strip clubs, was involved in prostitution and slave trading that included women as well as children. To his record added was drug dealing and trading in arms. A few loved him, the majority abhorred him. Many wanted his fall, but nobody did anything against him. The police efforts to put him behind bars always led to nothing. Both he and his family was strong, but a silent threat to everyone who would get in his way.

Everyone that was except for one person. One ruthless, determined assassin.

Because yesterday he and his son, who was supposed to follow in his father's footsteps, fell victim to an assassination. The killer didn't even bother to make it look like an accident or suicide. Both Slesinger men were executed by one clean shot through the skull, after they had been agonized with a shot once in each knee. This bore all the hallmarks of a clinical execution.

There was very little to go on, virtually no clues at the scene of the crime. Your co-workers believed that vengeance was the motive. No murder weapon had been found, and the somber knowledge that the only witnesses, Slesingers bodyguards, were in no condition to be interrogated did nothing to help solve the case. Some of the men were still lying unconscious in Desert Palm hospital while the rest of them were suffering from amnesia. Again, in Slesingers case, the CSI's as well as the police force had not a single useful clue.

The mysterious circumstances surrounding the entire murder led everyone to believe that this had been the work of a professional assassin. Who else would have been able to knock out a horde of twenty sturdy, well-trained and armed bodyguards with such merciless precision if not a coldblooded professional hitman?

Certainly in Slesingers case, that suspicion wasn't really so absurd. He had made many enemies, people who wanted him dead, so you could be sure some of them would not hesitate to hire an assassin to get rid of him. But whoever was responsible, professional killer or not, this single person had done a terrifying damn good job, you had to admit. Appearing out of thin air without anybody noticing, surprising not only the bodyguards but also both victims, then vanishing like a ghost that never existed, leaving only a trail of blood but no other useful evidence behind. Such was the extent of the thoroughness involved you had heard it said that not even the serial numbers on the fatal projectiles were of any help, they all had been carefully obliterated.

In a selfish sort of way, you were glad you did not have to work the case. You recalled being involved in several investigations against the mighty man before his death, that's why you knew all the details about his past. But in each case the trail had gone cold. Never had any of those cases reached a court of law, and it looked like Slesingers influence reached far deeper than expected. It seemed that he had at least one judge on his pay roll.

Having a hit man on the loose was the last thing you needed to deal with. You really could pass on becoming a target. Your life as a Detective was dangerous enough, your personal life being far worse.

A voice filled with disgust echoed from your left got your attention. "Finally, that son of a bitch got what he deserved! It is about time that someone finished the cops work and punished that rat for all the shit he has done!" To your surprise you found that the hate laced voice belonged to the bartender. He growled under his breath to the trucker who nodded vehemently in response, but a smile playing at the edges of the bar owners lips. "Sadly, nobody got his fiend of a father before his death to give him his nemesis. He was by far more brutal than Boris. Why couldn't this dark knight have appeared fifty years ago?".

"But at least, it's one evil less on this planet." the trucker reasoned.

"Yeah, but so many of them left.".

After a heavy moment of silence descended on them, the drunken trucker - you guessed him in his mid-sixties - spit on his sip of whiskey, snorting cheaply as a sudden thought crossed his mind and he started hitting his fat belly with his left hand over and over again. "That would make your oh so praised knight an old crock!". While the gray haired man still smirked about his lame joke, the bartender only grinned.

"An old but successful crock, Henry. One who sure can kick asses.".

"Whatever! As long as he spares the sexy willing ladies, I don't care!" Without thinking, he shot you a quick but meaningful look, followed by a disgusting gesture that could only be meant as an audible blow of a kiss.

You somehow found the strength and composure to ignore the gesture, and felt the sudden burning desire to wipe the smirk from his face with your bare hands.

To your surprise, it was the bartender who cut his guest down his size. In one swift movement he had re-filled the trucker's tiny glass of whiskey and had thrown it in his face.

"Behave, Henry! Leave her alone or you will never be allowed to enter this house again, is that clear!".

"Do you intend to get into her pants tonight? Or why are you acting all chivalrous about her?".

The death glance from both, the bartender as well as yours, was enough to silence the man instantly. Surprised by the sudden change, and shocked at what happened, the old man simply nodded. Turning back to the trucker, the bartender added, "And by the way, you will pay for the last shot twice.".

"WHAT THE FU … ?". The stern and threating look meeting his eyes made him stop before he could finish his rant. "Language Henry.". Instead he mumbled something under his breath in defeat as he lowered his head. By now it occurred to you that these two men had known each other for a while. Or else, the bartender wouldn't have acted like this, thrown a drink right at his guests face.

You glanced at him swiftly, meeting the bar owners gaze. He sent you a quick wink. But you couldn't offer a smile in thanks, even if you wanted to. You were still too confused, the alcohol in your system was not helping either.

But still the trucker, Henry, couldn't let go of their former topic. Despite the fact that his lumberjack shirt was soaking wet and that he smelled like a barmaid's apron seemed not to bother him in the slightest.

"It's about time that someone has the balls to do what law enforcement is too scared and incapable to accomplish. Don't you think?" the trucker asked while mentioning for a new shot, which he got served only a second later.

"Sure thing, Henry.".

Trying not to concentrate on their ridiculous conversation anymore and the disgusting but penetrating smell coming from the left, you swallowed the slowly surfacing anger and instead took another gulp of beer.

What had become of the world? A hitman being portrayed as a hero? Hailed as a dark knight? How afraid yet daft had the humans become that they couldn't distinguish between vengeance and justice anymore?

Pay like with like? Punishing a crime with another crime? Was that truly the only way to get a man like Slesinger? Letting a hitman finish the job that the police couldn't achieve, when their hands were bound behind their backs by laws and politics?

Honestly, your colleagues and lawyers had done everything in their might to get his ass nailed. But still, they were never able to put him into jail.

Then out of nowhere a single person was capable of not only overpowering his whole army of bodyguards without killing a single one of them, leaving them slightly injured and with a blank mind of the attack, but murdered both Slesinger men with such an ease and rigor? How terrifying was that thought?

You were unaware just how hungry you were until you finally realized that the plate in front of you had disappeared. So hungry in fact that you had cleared your plate with consummate ease. You devoured the delicious lasagna like a starving predator close to death until the plate was clean of any traces. So quickly in fact that you were totally unable to appreciate just how good the food was. You knew you should have appreciated your delicious meal more, but the pangs of hunger you experienced were way too demanding for you to eat your food slowly. In less than a few minutes you had emptied your plate completely. You were debating about ordering a second one, but you decided against it. Your stomach was starting to complain due to the effects of the alcohol you had consumed. It was finally taking it's toll on your awareness.

The bartender had seen your empty plate, turned to you, and took it without a comment. He decided not to ask if you had enjoyed your meal as the speed with which you gulped down the lasagna and your drinks told him everything that he needed to know.

In the distance you heard more noise, you assumed it came from the entrance. Soon you were surrounded by more truckers, which left you uncomfortable.

Before he welcomed his new guests, which were swarming around their co-worker Henry, the bar owner's tender voice addressed you and worked it's way through your fogged head.

"Now, want something stronger then beer?".

You weren't sure what gave your longing away. Maybe you really looked completely stressed-out, or way too desperate and needy? You didn't know or care.

You bowed your head towards him too, signaling him you wanted a new drink.

"Yeah, Jack Daniel's please.". So with that, your personal roller coaster started.

You felt like you could switch to another level. Without comment you had a glass of whiskey sitting in front of you less than a minute later.

Shot after shot, you poured the burning and sticky liquor down your throat, alternating in turn with your Bud beer. You cared little about the dangers of mixing your drinks or the amount of alcohol you poisoned your body with. The only aim being to drink yourself into a drunken stuper as soon as possible.

At one point your eyes had spotted a jar of toothpicks to your right. Without hesitation you reached out and extracted one. But the moment you held the tiny piece of wood in your hands, you froze. Wasn't that night meant to be extraordinary? Wasn't it meant to break with the rules? To break with your habits?

Well, sometimes it just wasn't that easy. Sometimes it seemed almost impossible to shed those customs, after all, a leopard can't change its spots.

Slowly raising your hand you placed the toothpick between your lips and started your nervous manner all over again.

Meanwhile, unnoticed by you, a young man came over and leant against the counter, facing you with a faked grin.

"How comes such a sexy lady like you is sitting here all alone?" his cheeky voice spoke. The way in which his words were slurred and his alcohol laced breath told you enough about the state of his mind. He was drunk, just as much as you, if not worse. You heard shouting from behind his shoulders and realized it was the group of students gathered at the billiard tables, cheering their companion. Trying to stay polite and in hope your stillness would be enough for him to back off, you stayed silent and simply looked ahead while further chewing on the pick. But to your disapproval, he had none of it. Instead your ears picked up the shouting from the men behind you, accompanied by lewd whistles.

"Lay her, Shawn!".  
>"Yeah, take the lady!".<p>

He turned to them, signaling them to calm down before turning back towards you.

"So, are you free tonight?".

"If you mean to end up in jail, just go on. But if you don't want to get lynched tonight, you better back off." you stated plain but firmly. And if your voice wasn't warning enough, your eyes sure were.

"Nah come one. You sure are free or else you wouldn't be here. Am I gonna have to pay? How much?".

"Get lost!" you barked at him vehemently, nearly spitting out the pick, the venom not only clearly audible in your voice but rather unmissable in your eyes. You didn't have the nerve for lame flirtations like this, or for whatever he was trying to talk you into. Your reaction was harmless, even though you were thinking just how much you wanted to throttle that jerk.

The moment he opened his mouth to speak you took the toothpick with your right hand and banged the other fist down on the counter with full force, which made him jump beside you.

"Fuck off, boy!".

Without another look, he retreated back to his gang who were just as surprised about your outburst as him, one of them backhanded him on the back of his head when he passed, the others whispered and glared behind your back. A fact you didn't give a damn about. The only thing occurring to you was your now stinging and bruised left hand, the pain pulsing along to the rhythm of your quickened heartbeat. But again, the alcohol numbed that sensation shortly after.

You were trying to completely block out the awful music coming from the bar's stereo system, and to ignore the filthy and vulgar chat that was exchanged between the truckers and other customers. You were also very aware of their horny glances.

You ground up the toothpick in an intense deliberate exercise as you drowned further in your own misery, thoughts of those terrible last weeks entered your brain, images played themselves in front of your inner eye, despite your best effort to block them out.

The very first blow happened when you had just started working with the Las Vegas Crime Lab and Police Department and were rather planned to become a detective but instead you were assigned to become a CSI by the Sheriff. A decision that you found difficult to come to terms with however hard you tried. In the hope of making the best out of the situation, you ended up as a subordinate to the asshole that was CSI Assistant Director Conrad Ecklie who was making you so many promises at the very beginning. Empty promises you had to learn later, in a pretty rough way. He had talked about you as the soon permanent acting supervisor of day shift. And of course, your new colleagues had gotten the wrong impressions. Distrusting you right from the start they had secretly called you "Ecklie's pet".

You spat out the remains of the pick from your lips, and instead started fumbling with it in your right hand.

At first you were smitten by the vision Ecklie had implied. But by the time you became aware of his real intentions, that he had tricked you, it was far too late. You found yourself in the middle of a war that he had started towards the night shift supervisor Gil Grissom. But instead of supporting him, like Ecklie had expected you to do, to save your career, you had taken the risk, campaigned for Grissom and supported him and his night shift. Even if you knew that this would incur the wrath of the Assistant Director, you weren't prepared for the drastic matters he had in store for you. Not even five minutes later, the night shift was split and you were demoted, assigned to work together with Grissom, Greg Sanders and Sara Sidle as a team. All people who, only apart from Grissom, had thought of you as a sponge. People who thought that you only had your job because of your mother, people who matched you up to her. People who faced you with disapproval and mistrust written all over their faces. It sickened you. They didn't acknowledge what a huge sacrifice you had made by staying on their side. Instead you were further treated with distance, so soon, the amount of it all left you completely frustrated and desperate. Honestly, at that time, you really thought about quitting.

With a sudden snap your fingers broke the remains of that toothpick. You sighed in a frustrated manner.

In an attempt to erase this demon, you raised your glass and drowned another shot of Jack Daniel's, sealing it. However, there were still so many of them left.

But despite all the issues, you had found your strength and resolve. Without anybody to help you, you got back up and moved on. Eventually you even gained the trust and respect of those who doubted you.

Though, for your mother, that was not enough. She had mentioned her disapproval over the turn of your career way too often. For her, you had to live up on her reputation. But all you ever wanted was to have your own career, without being steadily marked against the yardstick that was set by your prominent mother. Even if you reached her spot, being a captain or even higher, working yourself into exhaustion, it wouldn't be good enough for her. Because nothing you did would please her. Not in the past, not in the present and sure enough not in the future.

You sighed at the thought of Ana Curtis. She always acted more as a superior than mother towards you. You were finally fed up with the unsuccessful attempts of getting her attention by fulfilling her ideas for your life. Because honestly, all you craved for were the comfort and regard of the person that was meant to be your most intimate confidant. The person that should love you regardless with each fibre of her heart. You sought affirmation from the parent that she should be. But you had lost that connection years ago. The bond between mother and daughter, it didn't exist for you anymore. Why? You had no idea. As hard as you tried, you couldn't come up with a particular reason to explain your mother's behaviour. The only thing that made sense was your confession about your sexual orientation. Which saddened and frustrated you even more. Even if you knew that parents should respect and love their children, whatever decisions they made in life, you had considered yourself at fault countless times. You had tried everything. Tried to meet her halfway, tried to live up to her illusions, even believed that you were the one to blame for your broken home.

But finally, you wouldn't. Not anymore.

Deciding to quit the grief over your mothers disinterest you buried it with another shot of beer and whiskey. You wouldn't mourn after something that you hadn't experienced for years.

But as much as you wanted the memories to end, your mind wouldn't let you rest.

Instead it shifted up a gear and came up with another haunting incident in your fucked up life. Visions of the wild shoot-out with fleeing drug dealers in which officer Daniel Bell was killed by friendly fire played in front of your inner eye and wouldn't stop tormenting you. For a while your colleagues together with your mother believed that it was you who had accidentally fired the fatal shot. Even worse, you had doubted your own actions, believing yourself to be the killer of a husband and father of an unborn child. To your relief you were later cleared from all accusations. But still, it had left a deep scar on you and tarnished your reputation.

Now that your mind got into top gear it switched once more to another police officer that was killed in the line of duty, with you being in charge. When the so called 'Miniature Killer' struck numerous times in Las Vegas, your superiors decided to set up a trap in order to catch the criminal. Officer Kamen was chosen to represent a victim and died while you were only four hundred feet away, watching the whole scene without noticing. This time everybody told you it wasn't your fault and you knew they were right. Still, you were the one in charge, the one responsible for the young woman. Somehow you couldn't shake the feeling off that you had failed her.

As if that was not enough, your personal life was just as rough as your professional career. There was not only your mother, the bad ass Captain of the LVPD, that ignored you on any emotional matter and wanted you to further climb up the career ladder in order to follow her footsteps but also satisfy her.

But the most aching, yet powerful blow of all happened the day you found your girlfriend cheating on you, in the bed of the apartment you shared together. What made matters worse than this betrayal was the way she had behaved after she had noticed your presence. That bitch had the nerve to bring her lover to her orgasm despite the fact that she knew about her audience and instead enjoyed every single moment knowing that you witnessed it. After ending their show off she just stepped right into your personal space, stark naked, like some holy right, her fuck buddy following right behind her, facing you with a sadistic smirk and had laughed at you narcissistically. There was no apology, nor had she pleaded you for forgiveness. Instead her evil words had been burned in your skull forever.

_"What? Do you really think that you've been the only one for me? Did you seriously believe that you're so special that no one else would get my attention? Are you really that blind and naïve not to see the truth? That you're worthless, nothing more than a fuck in between? Yeah, you're nothing! You never meant anything!"._

Those words had broken you. Left you in a shattered shell of your own body.

Ever since then you had fallen into an abyss and were unable to free yourself from it.

Instead, it felt like you were still falling endlessly, with no one around who would break your fall, no one to catch you. No one to set you back down safely on the ground, saying that everything would be alright.

Your mother was way too focused on her own reputation and space to ever notice your misery. Let alone offer any help or support when you most needed it. She had never shown any kind of interest about your life, let alone your love life. So now you had started to shut out the few remaining friends you had left, as well as your colleagues. Somehow you had begun to distrust and withdraw from everybody. And still, nobody ever noticed a thing.

But maybe it was not the fall that scared you. Because while falling you felt at peace. What really terrified you was the moment you would hit the ground that would unleash the emotions you held so desperately at bay.

Until now, you had successfully hidden your turmoil behind a well-developed and perfected mask. You had become immune from the pain, from the grief that you should have felt. You had not even cried, or shouted over the loss and infidelity. Something that you felt the urgent need to do for a while now, but never did. The only real outburst of your feelings happened in the locker room, when you had suddenly punched your right fist into the closed locker door again and again, leaving you with a badly bruised and stinging hand. In that silent unseen moment when you slid down on the floor the first and only tears had escaped the ocean that were your eyes. Instead you grew bad-tempered and often took it out on the people around you, mostly your colleagues. Again, no one got suspicious.

What troubled you most though was the fact that you had been used and played without ever sensing a thing. That you hadn't seen her true face even if you were a Detective for gods sake! You were trained to interrogate suspects and witnesses! Trained to determine if someone was lying to you, or telling the truth! In her case you should have been able to sense her feigned feelings. So you had not only failed in private but also proved your professional incompetence. Making a complete fool out of yourself. Just what sort of a Detective did that make you!

Through the fog that had already claimed your mind, you heard a soft voice.

"Had a tough day, haven't you?".

Looking up, you saw the bartender's soft eyes directed at you. He had had finally enough of the truckers shit and instead turned to you, slightly concerned.

"Something like that." you answered sincerely but guarded.

He gave you a last intense glare before speaking. "Do you have a place to stay?".

That made you stare at him in a mix of shock and suspicion. "Is that meant to be an invitation?".

Now he smirked. "In case it is, would you agree?".

You snorted audibly at that, spitting the just taken sip of beer out ungracefully and falling in a hysteric laughing fit. Now he was the one looking at you in confusion.

"What's so funny?".

"Nothing, we're just not playing in the same league that's all, sorry.".

"Oh.". Now he understood, you noticed the slight flush of his cheeks, his brows furrowed for a minute but then softened. He cleared his throat after the unforeseen discovery. "… uhm … I was just concerned, that's all … You don't appear to me like a woman who just drinks her smart brain out her skull.".

Not helping it, you snorted again by the ordinary compliment. "Thanks, I guess.", but then you frowned at him, "How do I look to you then?".

He fixed you with his intense green eyes that were filled with honesty, "Like a troubled soul.".

An awkward silence descended upon the two of you, in which you lowered your head to escape his gaze. The truth of his words hitting you with full force. That's what you were: A troubled soul.

He soon recovered from the surprise over your reaction and smiled. "Well then, good luck with all the beautiful ladies around. Maybe you get lucky tonight. Or is there a special girl that has already stolen your heart?".

It was that one innocent meant sentence that hit you like a bridge falling on top of you and burying you beneath it. Your features dropped instantly, your eyes withdrawing, trying to look everywhere but at him and he knew right away that he had hit another sensitive spot he perhaps should have avoided.

But instead of shutting down, like you would normally do, the alcohol in your system betrayed you and the words just flew out of your mouth uncontrollably.

"No, my heart got broken a few weeks ago.".

Silence prevailed again for a few minutes and he knew better than to ask what happened. He just waited for you to decide if you wanted to continue this conversation. You had the feeling that if you would give him the sign to back off, he would accept it without question. Finally you threw every caution in the wind. If you couldn't turn to your own mother for comfort, then why not actually open up to a stranger you would never see again?

"That bitch cheated on me. In our flat, our bed for gods sake! And when I caught her she had the nerve to fuck her lover to orgasm right in front of my eyes! Then she just laughed at me!". No need to quote the exact words that were thrown your way. The only thing lacing your voice was fury. But you were able to hold it at bay.

While he listened closely, his features stayed neutral. You weren't able to read his thoughts and were unaware that he couldn't understand how a beautiful woman like the one in front of him could be cheated on and treated like you had been.

You hesitated, feeling overwhelmed by the re-emerging emotions, trying everything to hold back the welling wetness that suddenly stung in your eyes –fucking cigarette smoke-, staring at the beer bottle while peeling off the label in a nervous manner. Again, at a point were you would have lapsed into silence under normal circumstances, the influence of the liquor got the better of you. Your inward walls not existing right at this moment.

"Do you know how it feels to be the only blind fool on earth? Do you know how it is to be played? How it feels to be the one everyone is laughing at?".

Looking up at him you caught the shake of his head in a silent answer, saw the interest and deep sympathy in his eyes.

"It feels like you're ripped apart just by their glances. Leaving you empty and worthless.".

"You're not worthless. Nobody is. The way she had treated you, she didn't deserve you. But sooner or later, it will come back on her." he stated reassuringly and convinced. Then he shrugged and smirked. "You know what they say: What goes around, comes around. Payback can be a bitch.".

Contemplating his words, the ghost of a smile played at the edges of your lips. He noticed the faint facial expression and stated softly, "See, you still know how to smile. You should do that more often, suits you better than all the frowning you have obviously done too often lately.".

Now your hands stilled their motions and instead you dropped them in your lap, your eyes following them gloomily, playing mindlessly with your fingers. He for his part felt that you still hadn't come to terms with the encounter with your ex-girlfriend.

"Sure that you didn't choose the wrong job? You would make a perfect shrink." you smiled weakly at him.

Laughing out loud he needed a minute to get his breath back to answer you, still smirking.

"You won't believe how often I hear that.".

"So I guess I'm not the only wreck you have had to deal with then?" you stated apologetic.

"Well, most people come here to enjoy themselves and have fun. Others just want to relax and have a drink without being constantly hit on. But then, there are a few people who just enter the bar in silence, quietly sitting here all night long without wanting to gain anybody's attention, down shot after shot and mull over their life. Some just bottle it up without ever wasting a word. Only very few start to open up, but honestly, for me that's the best gift I can receive. These special people come around occasionally and we share some nice talks. Some very special friendships arose from such occasions. Over all these years I have met so many different kinds of people, but for sure it never gets boring. Actually, after daily herding all those truckers and students, I'm very glad of some kind of variety.".

You chuckled at that slight confession, still fidgeting with your digits, understanding his feelings. Never noticing his worried stare, he finally addressed you with his concern filled voice.

"Seriously, do you have a place to stay for the night? There is no way you are driving in your state or else I'm going to call the cops.".

A dry and sarcastic snort escaped your throat ungainly.

"I am a cop." you stated matter of factly while self-deprecatingly putting emphasize on every single word.

Now he raised both his eye brows in surprise. "Really?".

A defeated and half-hearted chuckle slipped past your lips. "Yeah, hard to believe, isn't it.". That last remark was directed at yourself rather than him.

Mustering you closely once more, he reached around and opened a shelf. You followed his movements without ever knowing what he had in mind. A second later he laid something on the counter in front of you. Fixing the metallic object and observing it more closely you recognized that it was a set of keys. Confusion written all over your face you stared up at him. He had leaned forward, had folded his arms, resting both his elbows on the counter, facing you with his trademark grin.

"If you want you can stay in one of our rooms tonight. Just out the door you entered, turn right and head to the other building complex that holds our guest rooms. This is the key to room 7. It is up the stairs, the third door. Take it for the night. It might be not a luxury suite like the ones in the casinos or hotels on the Strip, but it has a comfy bed and a bathroom with running hot water. Something you will be grateful for when you wake up in the morning with a hangover.".

Yeah, he was right. Tomorrow you would be a mess. But still, there wouldn't be anybody around to witness it. So why worry?

Downing another swig of beer, you realized that your tenth bottle was empty.

While you contemplated if you should order another Bud, the bartender was still leaning against the counter just a few inches away from you and sneaked several innocent glances at some point behind your back. Maybe another attractive woman had caught his eyes, since you were not available for him, you assumed.

If he hadn't been so close to you, you would have definitely missed his next words.

"Seems like you caught some interested eyes there.".

Not understanding what he intended to say, you frowned at him. Instead of answering you straight, his gaze wandered and met yours. Standing your questioning look for long seconds, he simply nodded in the direction of the booths behind your back.

"The sexy brunette over there hasn't taken her gaze off you the last ten or so minutes.".

With that he offered a polite smile, trying to look innocent.

But his next words betrayed him, and the fact that he was shrugging his shoulders way too casually. You knew instantly what was on his mind.

"Maybe you should give it a try, huh, don't you think? You might get lai … lucky.".

Typical male, you thought. After all he was still a man. A gentleman for sure, you had to admit. But still a man, with all his filthy fantasies.

But honestly, you indeed had felt a strange and burning sensation on your back for quite a while, and somehow it had sent a thrill down your spine, not only once. But still, your ego was too cracked to even think that someone would be attracted by you. You didn't dare to turn around and have a look yourself.

It took you a minute until it dawned on you that he might be right.

Why not give it a shot? What could possibly happen?

Yeah, you could get rejected, and in that case you would simply retreat back to your seat and start drinking all over again. It was just that simple.

In turn you looked down at the glass of whiskey in front of you that you hadn't touched since it was served a few minutes ago, before replying his gaze. He still hadn't taken his eyes off you and you met his one last time. Without breaking eye contact you reached for the small glass, attached it to your lips and in a quick motion threw your head back, pouring the whiskey down your throat. For the last time this night you enjoyed with disgust how it crawled down its path. When the sensation hit your taste bud you clenched your eyes shut. Settling the glass down in front of you, you stood up abruptly.

"Add it all on the bill. I'm staying the night.".

"Here.", he handed you one last Bud and winked, "This one is on the house, and don't forget to smile.".

"Thanks, … ".

Reading your mind he stated, "Antonio.".

Sending him one last nod he mouthed a "Good luck." back your way.

Seemed like you had found a new friend without looking for one in the first place.

~ Ó ~

_I have lost myself again.  
>Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,<br>Yeah I think that I might break.  
>I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe.<em>

_Be my friend._  
><em>Hold me, wrap me up.<em>  
><em>Unfold me.<em>  
><em>I am small,<em>  
><em>I'm needy,<em>  
><em>Warm me up,<em>  
><em>And breathe me.<em>

_(Sia ~ "Breathe Me")_

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading.<br>Take care & stay safe,  
>Dragodina<p> 


	2. Chapter II

For disclaimer, return to chapter one and read the introduction.  
>Again, if femmeslash isn't your thing, you better not read any further!<br>This chapter contains sexual scenes between two women.

* * *

><p><em><span>Only For A Night<span>_

_A CSI Fanfiction_

_Chapter II_

_by Dragodina_

_~ Ó ~_

_Hydrogen in our veins,  
>it cannot hold us up,<br>our blood is boiling._

_And the pressure in our bodies,  
>that echoes up above,<br>it is exploding._

_And the particles they burn and all,  
>because they yearn for each other.<em>

_And although we stick together it seems,  
>that we're estranging one another.<br>_

_~ Ó ~_

You reached for a new toothpick and plugged it in between your lips, before turning on your heels, beer bottle clutched in your right hand. You started walking in the opposite direction that lead to the secluded booths, your eyes squinted as you encountered some sudden flashing lights. Despite the dizziness you were surprised that your feet felt much steadier than you had expected them to be. Surprisingly the world in front of you wasn't spinning that fast, so you wouldn't make a complete fool out of yourself while climbing the few steps. But otherwise the alcohol had effectively started to affect your perception and clouded your mind a long time ago. Frighteningly, it made things so much easier, if only for a couple of hours. But then, when the alcohol would fade out of your system and the shit of the world would crash down on your shoulders with full force, it would all come around. But for now, you craved nothing more than the promising oblivion provided by the liquor.

_Who the fuck cared about tomorrow?_  
><em>Life was now!<em>

So you would enjoy whatever destiny was throwing your way in this night and deal with the massive hangover and all the other consequences when it was time to do so. But for now, you didn't care.

You didn't care about taboos, sins or manners, nor about sanity.

You didn't care that you hadn't drunk like this since you were in college. You didn't care about the fact that your body wasn't used to that amount of alcohol.

You didn't care that you have never been the person for a one-night-stand and that it was completely against your nature and morals.

You didn't care that you were about to turn to a stranger in order to satisfy your craving for gratification, in order to feel alive again.

All you longed for was this one opportunity. The chance to just fall into the arms of somebody. If only for a night or even just for a few hours.

The moment you had turned your back to the bar, your eyes landed on the mentioned woman, since she was the only person sitting in the booths. It took your affected brain to realize that she was the same woman who had ordered the vodka minutes … hours … before? How much time had passed since you had arrived? What time was it actually? You had lost the track. Glancing swiftly at your wristwatch you noticed it was half-past eleven. That meant you had spent about four hours just sitting and drinking by yourself. It was time to change that.

Directing your gaze back up, your eyes settled on the mousy figure that was engulfed by the shadows, but because she was almost entirely dressed in black, she was almost invisible. But again, you reminded yourself not to judge only from the first sight.

You frowned while observing her on your way over. It was strange how her slender form held so much charm. Just sitting there, settled back in her seat, her head slightly leaning against her left hand while the other hand rested on the table beside her, her left forefinger placed at her temple, the left thumb under her chin, her lips hidden by her other fingers, apparently just warily observing the crowd in front of her. Her curly hair hid the rest of her face that couldn't be covered by the baseball cap, she appeared like a dark lady "Lording it" over everybody else. The iconic femme fatale … you shook your head at that thought.

While walking up to the brunette, you felt like drawn to her like an object being pulled to a magnet - whether intended or not. But it wasn't only your body that reacted in its own way by adding some extra sway to your hips with each step you made, but you were very aware of your pulse quickening and that you were unable to take your eyes away from her, searching her gaze under the hats brim unable to find it.

For some mystifying reason you could swear she was looking at you, too. Just like when you sat at the bar, you felt as if you were her prey, being stalked by a hungry predator. Although, two could play at that game, you thought and in turn hardened your gaze at her. This nagging feeling that you were being observed, became overwhelming. To add to the strange sensation, you could not help becoming excited as the closer you got. With each step you took, the sudden mysterious feeling from before chilled you to the bones. You even grinded your teeth more vehemently down on the toothpick.

Now that you were close enough, she changed her gaze away from you, appearing like she had never realized that you were walking towards her.

As you stood in front of her table, she still wasn't looking at you. You only waited another minute before you finally addressed her. Your right hand fumbled with the pick between your lips while the other was resting on your hip. Again surprised about how determined and firm your voice sounded despite the fact that you thought you were only able to slur your words.

"Mind if I take that seat?".

Further seconds passed, still no reply, nor did she make any attempt to move in the slightest way. You waited patiently, growing more annoyed by her ignorance, frowning and staring down at her. Your left hand changed and snaked around your waist. It was then that you noticed that your actions from before towards the student was now being used against yourself. Though, you would remain like that for as long as she did. But instead she just gazed ahead, trying to ignore the burning eyes, trying desperately to suppress the urge to agree. Minutes went by silently. Minutes in which she hoped her plain ignorance would just make you disappear, but deep down her demons fought against her sudden rising longings. The golden opportunity that destiny was offering her. Minutes in which you waited patiently, hoping that your endurance would pay off in the end but not able to see her inner conflict.

If you hadn't fixed your gaze on her so closely you would have missed the sudden shrug of her shoulders. For the first time, her eyes met yours from under the hats brim, her composed voice reaching your ears. The calmness of her vox was betrayed by the warning but daring expression her eyes held.

"See if I care.".

The moment your eyes met, it was like your souls coalesced on an emotional level. A warm tingling sensation made itself felt in your abdomen that was hard to ignore with each passing minute. At that instant you cursed the alcohol and the way it was messing with your organism.

Before you could hide it, a smile spread over your face, you quickly claimed the mentioned seat beside her, placing your Bud next to her nearly empty Smirnoff.

You sat up there together in silence for a few long minutes, just observing the crowd, constantly sipping at your drinks. She still maintained her posture and you simply leaned back in the pads, playing with the pick between your teeth. Strangely it appeared as if the woman beside you was in a deep moral conflict. Exchanging hidden but interested glimpses at one another you got a valuable insight of her insides. In those swift seconds in which your eyes met, you imagined a small burning fire blazing in them, that was directed at you.

Maybe her soul was just as troubled as yours?

How pathetic was that? Two troubled souls that clash together in a bar?

It was her piercing glance that brought you out of your thoughts.

In fact, it was the first and only movement from the brunette in a while, as she had turned her upper body in your direction to observe you sternly. But still you recognized the nature of her dispute. She found herself in two minds, her common sense was telling her to withdraw, but her physical, longing body was telling her otherwise.

Hardening your own eyes towards her to have a closer look, you caught something that up until now had remained unnoticed to you. But with her movement it was eventually exposed. There, on her left cheek ran a large striking scar from the bottom of her chin across her skin and faded at her left ear.

For the slightest moment you lost your guard as your eyes twitched at the sudden discovery, your glance further fixed on that spot before you composed yourself again and looked into her eyes. Otherwise your features stayed unimpressed. Sure enough she had caught that reaction, if her daring look was any indication. Not shifting her head or hiding the wounded flesh away from your gaze, she studied you pointedly, which left you wondering if she had done that on purpose, if she wanted to provoke a response. Maybe she thought that by revealing the mark, the mere sight of it would finally induce you to leave her alone.

But she was wrong there. You wouldn't just run off. For you, the scar didn't reduce any of her beauty. Quite the contrary, in your eyes it made her even more beautiful, only more exceptional and attractive.

While listening to the noises coming from the bar and its various guests, the most prominent being the audible babbling made by the many truckers, you just stared at each other, long and intensely. Those ocean-blue eyes searched their crystal-blue counterparts. She realized that the sight of her scar hadn't affected you at all. The tensions grew steadily between you, you couldn't stand the quietness any longer. The sensation in your belly intensified, you started to get impatient, even a little bit annoyed. Only when you decided to speak did she finally turn her face ahead.

You were pleased and smiled, guessing that you had won that silent battle of wills.

"So, are you from Vegas?".

Waiting patiently for an answer, you didn't get one.

"Or are you just a tourist visiting sin city for fun?".

Again, no reply. Just plain silence.

Slowly you got edgy all over, as you realized that she was going to be a hard nut to break. The challenge to draw her out became more tempting the longer she refused you.

"Anyway, you don't seem to be a regular guest here. You don't look like your hitting bars or clubs consistently and you're not exactly talkative.".

That only brought you an harassed quick glance. Well at least, that was the first reaction in ages. Nearly unnoticed but it was an improvement, right?

But those eyes, that had met yours for only the split of a second, were clouded. As if she was contemplating every single act and word before she would let it slip off her lips. Feeling that she wouldn't be left in peace, she gave a slight comment, hoping that the rudeness of her voice would give you the hint to back off, or even better make you disappear.

"I'm not from here.".

In hope this tiny nugget would silence you, she shot you an annoyed look, but in your state of affection you had none of it. "So you're visiting Las Vegas for the first time? Or what brought you here?".

She hesitated and thought deeply for a minute.

Then she grabbed the vodka bottle with a quick motion and downed a heavy gulp, not even flinching by the bitter taste, leaving it finally empty.

"Business matters." was the curt reply as she sat the flask back down.

You simply nodded.

"Found this place by accident?".

Her only answer was an indifferent shrug.

"Same here. ".

The sudden ear piercing laugh of the truckers got your attention.

"Don't know how I managed to sit down there for so long while surrounded by those horny and stinky monkeys.". You glanced over to her, seeing the ghost of a smirk, sensing an opportunity. "While I could have been sitting here with such a beautiful woman.".

That earned you the courtesy you had tried to provoke. Still in her trademark position, elbow laying on the seat, her head leaning on her right hand, her fingers resting against her temple and chin, the rest placed over her soft red lips. The smirk from before, it had disappeared instantly and was now replaced by an inscrutable sorrowful mask. Her eyes were piercing you and you had to fight to stand against that look. But you managed and in return she watched you curiously at what you were hinting.

"Silent, but nevertheless beautiful.".

"I'm anything but beautiful." her cold voice stated.

"That's not true." you replied sternly.

"What do you know?" she shrugged again.

"I know what I'm seeing. A scar doesn't make you ugly.".

Now she chuckled, more to herself, which left you raising a curious eyebrow at her.

"It's not about the scar, I can live with that. Honestly, leave it alone, you've no fucking idea.".

With that she looked away, leaving you to stare at her in silence while further playing with the pick. To your surprise she faced you a few minutes later, frowning.

"Is that some kind of habit? Or why are you chewing on this?" she finally asked, mentioning the toothpick in between your lips.

Feeling your old confidence returning, you replied smugly with a broad grin and a casual shrug. "Well, better than a cigarette.".

That left her smirking. "Yeah, sure.".

Gaining control again with her features hidden back behind her stoic mask she looked ahead.

"I'm wondering why you're sitting here with me. You could have anybody down there. From up here it looked like the bartender was already charming you with all he had, undressing you with his eyes. Same for that horny student who was drooling over you, making you that unmistakable offer. I won't mention the testosterone driven monkeys.".

At first, you wondered about her keenness of hearing. But you were pleased to hear her interest and her attempt to make conversation even if she felt obviously uncomfortable. Even more by noticing that she had watched you longer than expected. Hiding your smirk, you mimicked her posture, only mirror-inverted and shrugged.

"Told them I was not available. Not for the bartender. Same with the kid and monkeys.".

Again she eyed you intensely.

"Taken?".

Your first instinct was to say left. But instead you answered, "Solo.".

You hesitated before replying. "I'm not interested in anyone down there. Would be too easy.".

She looked questioning at you.

"I like challenges." you further explained.

"Still, you could have anybody else except me.".

"But I chose you.".

That's when you saw it, her eyes twitched. Almost unnoticed, but they did.

You started to play with the keys in your left hand, deeply contemplating about whether or not to make your final move, before holding it slightly up for her to be visible.

"Would you like to share a room?".

Now she raised a delicate eyebrow at you.

"Is that an indecent proposal?".

"What if?".

"I would call you crazy and irrational.".

"Then let's be crazy and irrational for one night".

"I won't be here tomorrow.".

"Perfect, neither will I.".

"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying.".

"I know damn well what I'm offering, and you're as drunk as me.".

"Really, you don't know what you're getting yourself into.".

You eyed her closely, not understanding nor accepting her resistance at all. The only thing betraying her act was the longing fire in her crystal-blue eyes.

"Why are you fighting this so much?".

"Why are you so desperately begging for a strangers company?" she countered.

"'Cause …", suddenly your voice died, you hesitated, her question reaching your brain only seconds later, "I need to feel alive again. If only for a night …".

Her eyes again found yours under the cap, searching yours intently.

"Are you serious?".

"Deadly serious.".

Even if she appeared straightfaced all the time you looked at her, you noticed how she flinched. In return, you hoped you didn't look that needy and desperate.

"Strictly physical? No strings attached? Only one night." she pressed.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." you summed up.

Not knowing how wrong you would be later …

"Lead the way?".

You smiled happily, "Just follow me.".

Ignoring all the pair of eyes that followed you out the bar, you led the way to the other building complex.

The purpose and pace in which you rose from your seats, left the bar, made your way to the stair and up to the first floor surprised not only you. All the time you sat with her, never once have you noticed a sensation of giddiness. Only then, the moment you rose form your seat, it finally hit you like a tidal wave. Your vision blurred and for a slight minute you weren't sure if you would make the journey.

What made you forget about your spinning head and your blurring vision, were her fleeting touches. Those set something else on fire, your aroused senses. You felt her close presence behind your back during your walk, felt how her eyes were fixed on your jeans clad ass as you climbed up the stairs in front of her. You knew you had to make it to the room, to the isolation it provided in order to finally abandon yourself and give in into your longing.

All of a sudden you were only able to concentrate on the task at hand. And in return the overwhelming dizziness faded and was soon forgotten.

You never realized that she made a quick scan of the surroundings, pleased when she hadn't found any video surveillance systems. Stopping in front of the door with a black seven attached you fumbled with the key in your hands as you tried to insert it into the matching lock while the light of the full moon illuminated you. Again, you cursed the alcohol and the way it messed with your body, the simple move turned out to be an impossible mission. For a moment your thoughts wandered off, playing with the meaning that the number seven implied. No other number held so many meanings, myths and contrarieties.

_Seven, the divine number._  
><em>Seven, the number of taboos.<em>  
><em>Seven, the total number of the deadly sins.<em>

Those thoughts were blown to the wind when suddenly, her chest pushed against your back and you felt not only her hot breath on your neck, but rather her breasts pressing against your ribcage as she leaned in which sent not only a shiver down your spine but an electric impulse shock through every fibre of your body. Turning halfway around you she took the keys out of your grasp, her fingers brushing your hand. The nerves beneath your skin where she had fleetingly touched you were set on fire. For a moment your eyes were just fixed on that one spot on your hand that still tingled, just like the prickling sensation that grew deep down in your abdomen and heated thighs. But then your gaze switched, wandered up and settled on her face as she was only inches away from you.

Where you couldn't insert the key straight with your hands shaking like aspen, she slid it smoothly in the lock and opened the door. Her eyes answering your gaze, she waited for you to enter the room.

Only then, under the dim light of the moon did you notice that the striking scar on her cheek was not the only one she had. There was another mark, just as prominent on her throat. Its' path just the same as the other one. It started right and turned up left. With a tiny part of your rational mind still working, you could swear the two wounds were caused by only one attack. Maybe she had been stabbed but reacted in time so that the knife blade would only cut deeply into her skin, but other than that hadn't caused any life threating damage. It made you wonder what the secret of this enigma woman was.

It was that moment that you felt two different emotions washing over you. Insecurity and yearning.  
>You were unaware that she too was torn between these feelings herself. But for different reasons than yours.<p>

In a sudden impulse, not knowing what came over you, you let the toothpick slip from your mouth, the moment it fell on the ground beside your boots you leaned further in and claimed her lips. The kiss you initiated was slow and shy, your lips only touching hers briefly but tenderly, without much force. Long seconds passed by before you noticed that she wasn't returning the action, you panicked and finally retreated.

The moment you released her lips and backed away, she had recovered from her first shock, leaned forward and met you halfway. Her kiss being more insistent, she snaked her strong hands behind your neck in order to keep you in place and you moaned against her lips by the sudden contact of her demanding fingers on your burning skin. This kiss lasted until she finally broke the interaction in desperate need of oxygen. Not ready to lose the contact of your skin completely, she instead placed her forehead against yours.

You stayed like that for many minutes, trying to calm not only your erratic breathing but also your frantic heartbeat. All the time both of you had your eyes shut.

But when she finally let go of your neck and looked up, meeting your ocean-blue eyes, you saw a undescribable flow of expressions in them. Something that you had never seen before in someones' eyes.

First it seemed as if you were looking into the eyes of a prisoner who was granted the long-desired escape, getting the first taste of freedom and respite after he had been in a cell for his entire life. But then you searched deeper, her features shifted and suddenly you felt like you were facing a wild raging animal that had been captured and caged against its will, trying desperately to break its chains along with the walls of its cage with all its might. But then only an instant later, her eyes were covered by darkness.

Allowing the intense look to last only a minute longer, she leaned back in, but this time placed her lips dangerously close to your ear. You felt the rugged flesh of her scar fleetingly touch your right cheek as her breath now tickled the sensitive nerves underneath.

"Last chance to withdraw." she whispered against your skin, her voice barely a rough whisper and you felt another shiver that ran down your spine, making your hair stand on end. You looked up into her eyes, and the sincereness you found in them convinced you in your decision.

"I stick to my words. How about you?".

Crystal blue eyes seemed tu burn intently into your ocean blue one before she whispered, "I'm gonna make you feel alive.".

Smiling, you took hold of her hands.

And then the pact was sealed as two hungry mouths clashed against each other and two different pairs of soft lips met, while eager tongues claimed access to one another. Both your hands still entwined you staggered backwards, leading the brunette into the dark room. Before you knew it, she had closed the wooden door behind you. In one swift motion she spun you around and pinned you back against it, kissing you fiercely, her right hand roughly grabbing hold of the back of your neck while the other one wandered from your shoulder down your right side, fleetingly brushing your clothed breast which brought what a surprised gasp from your throat against her lips that turned into a deep moan as her hand finally settled on your ass, pushing your lower body more towards her, while she settled her left knee in between your thighs.

As you wanted to have your own hands on her, you reached out. Just before you were able to even touch her, her hands snapped up and took firmly hold of your wrists. At first you struggled against her grip but soon you had to realize that her appearance hid the fact that she held more strength than you had expected at first. Honestly, you stood no chance against her, which left you inwardly cursing at the alcohol that made you lightheaded, nearly defenseless but highly eager and she soon had pinned both your wrists at face value, grinding her body harder into yours which made your back ache against the wooden door. This time you groaned in sheer pleasure by that sudden act, your eyes searching hers under the brim. You had forgotten about the darkness in which the room was cased and only noticed now that it was impossible for you to find any kind of emotion in them by the lack of light.

You could only rely on your senses, which were going haywire and betrayed you at the same time due to the intoxication of both, the actions of the brunette as well as the amount of alcohol. Feeling your tensions and sensing your stand her lips let go of yours and moved nearer to your left ear.

"Let go …" she breathed in a whisper that was nothing more than a gentle breeze, the heat of her voice melting you then and there. It was crazy how you further lost control of your body, the alcohol making it surprisingly easy.

Well, you had insisted before to act crazy. Now you got what you had asked for, and you were really going to enjoy it.

It only took that angelic voice, to finally abandon yourself and let your primal instincts take over, lead you. You closed your eyes again, and let yourself fall in suspense.

You felt how she loosened the pressure on your wrists but kept it strong enough to keep you from moving as she let her lips travel over your skin. The path starting at your ear which she kissed and nibbled for what seemed like an eternity, then moving agonizingly slowly down your cheek, along your jaw line and finally settled on your pulse point.

She remained there, started the beautiful torture with her lips and tongue all over again and felt how you further dropped your guard.

You knew you were dancing on a dangerous threshold, but hell it felt so good, so right.

You dropped your head aside, exposing even more of your flaring flesh to her talented mouth. Moans occasionally slipping from your lips as you weren't able to catch them in time. Squeezing your eyes shut, you only felt and stopped thinking once and for all.

Deciding that she had devoured enough on your neck, she removed her baseball cap but held it still in her hand as kneeled down in front of you, your hands finally being freed from her grasp but unable to work properly. All you managed was to place them on top of her head as she pushed your jacket aside and raised your light blue blouse enough to bare your well-trained abdomen. Placing both her hands on either side of your hips she kissed each one of your toned muscles, making them twitch under her influence.

Yet again, without your willing, a deep groan slipped past your lips and your hips started to move on their own. It wouldn't take long for you to loose control completely, your legs already getting to feel shaky.

After she had given the last muscle its serve she stilled her teasing and straightened up. The moment she was back on her full height you opened your eyes again. Only then did you notice that she was nearly four inches smaller than you. But still her body contained so much surprising strength.

Now that she was back in front of you, she leaned in, pressed herself into you, but stopped just before touching you again. You felt her laboured breathing, felt her racing heartbeat, heard both pulsing in your ear. Or was it your own?

After only a minute without her touch, your body screamed for more, pleaded for attention. You got it, as you met her lips and kissed her passionately. Then you felt her hands wandering up to your shoulders, slipping under the already unbuttoned jacket of your pantsuit, brushing the material off your arms.

After the jacket lay forgotten on the floor, she grabbed the collar of your blouse and spun the two of you around, urging you towards the queen-sized-bed in the middle of the room, about five metres from you. The second your knees came in contact with the wooden bed frame, her eager hands had successfully stripped you down to your underwear without breaking your heated kisses, but you hadn't made any progress in undressing her. Only her hat met your pile of forgotten clothes on the floor as she had dropped it in order to gain full control over the kiss.

But before she could lower you down on the mattress, you laid your hands to her hips, halting any intention she had and tugged on her long sleeved black shirt.

"Can I … ?" you whispered hoarsely.

The silence that met you made you feel uneasy, as the want and need in your abdomen and inside your thighs grew insatiable. But still, you wanted to feel her skin beneath your fingers, wanted to touch her the way she had touched you, wanted to get the most intimate with her.

"Only if you promise not to think about what you will feel.".

You furrowed your eye brows looking at her in confusion even if you knew that she couldn't see your expression. But damn you didn't understand what she meant.

"I promise.". The words slipped from your lips before you knew it. Still not having a clue about what she had meant.

She stood still, allowing you to undress her under the dim light of the crescent moon shining through the half-curtained window. Piece after piece fell to the cold ground.

It was then that, for the briefest moment in which you stood face to face, both of you hesitated, leaning your foreheads against each other, both breathing heavily with a frantic heart that pounded against your ribcages, yearning for the close contact, your hands entangled behind her neck while hers rested on your hips.

Her cracked weak voice reached your ear. "Only for this night …" .

"Only tonight." you repeated with just as much second thoughts as she had.

You both felt the lie behind the words.

You both had started to sense the other ones craving for someone to rely on.

But you had both convinced yourselves that you couldn't be this person for each other.

Seeking out the mutual comfort you kissed. The kiss was the most tender and loving that you have ever experienced in your life. It was the instigation of a progress in which your souls and hearts bonded, without either of you noticing.

The beginning of the end …

Still kissing you passionately, she lowered you down on the soft mattress, straddling your hips until she finally lowered herself on top of you.

Your eager hands started to roam over her naked skin, traced her lean but delicate muscular body, touches that started a choir of moans, gasps and groans. Your fingers brushed over her body to free her out of her bra and she mimicked your actions.

You adored her physical constitution, that reminded of an athlete. Not only oozing with power but also not having a single gram of excess fat on her body. Packing all the muscles it takes to do the job – sheer performance power.

But still, you wondered … you wondered what that enigmatic woman had been through. Yet, you had promised not to think about it. Because you had an agreement, no strings attached. She wouldn't be there tomorrow. So you shouldn't let her overwhelm you. If you started to think about what happened to her, if you would even dare to ask her about it, you would admit concerns … feelings. Feelings that would break the verbal agreement. Feelings that you weren't allowed to develop, but couldn't choke, or control.

Only now did it occur to you what the nature of her former resistance was, as well as the meaning from her words a few minutes ago. She wanted to protect you. Protect you from falling in too deep, becoming attached. Her words before, they were a warning.

The second she had finally removed your last piece of clothing, your former eager hands now stilled on her shoulders and only a second later did your sharpened senses catch the sensation underneath your left fingertips …

Her shoulder, as well as her whole body was covered in scars. Her skin felt like a minefield in which a grenade detonated once in a while and left her scarred and rough. But the one on her right shoulder was different, yet strange. It felt like a pattern. Trying to make out the shape like if you were reading the braille alphabet, you followed their lines with your fingertips in hope to picture the image in your inner eye. You soon had to surrender to the fact that you wouldn't under all efforts succeed. Suspicious about the eager tracing of your fingers, she shifted the attention of her lips from yours, this diversion was complete as you suddenly felt her right hand wandering to your inner thighs. Your mind was racing, but still, you couldn't comprehend a single thought, her tongue licked playfully on one of your breasts as it became hard and swollen by the attention of her other hand.

Before you could continue any rationality, she finally lowered herself down on you with her full weight, bare skin on skin, without anything separating you, and started an agonizingly slow rhythm with her hips.

From that second on, a passionate night of love spurred by affinity, longing and unison was initialized. Accompanied by ecstatic moans, gasps of salvation, muffled or audible sensual cries. Neither of you noticed how both your troubled souls first melted, then bonded together and finally combined …

_~ Ó ~_

_Feel it on me love,  
>Strangeness and charm.<em>

_See it on me love,  
>Strangeness and charm.<em>

_And the static on your arms,  
>It is a catalyst.<em>

_Though the chemical it burns,_  
><em>There's nothing but this.<em>

_It's the purest element,_  
><em>But its so volatile.<em>

_An equation heaven sent,_  
><em>A drug for angels.<em>

_(Florence & The Machine ~ "Strangeness and Charm")_

* * *

><p>Thanks for taking your time, I hope you enjoyed reading.<br>Take care & stay safe,  
>Dragodina<p> 


	3. Chapter III

For disclaimer, return to chapter one and read the introduction.  
>This might be one of the shortest things of all times that I've ever written, hehe.<br>If you can remember the introduction from chapter one, you might also recall that I mentioned there would be one chapter not written in second person pronoun but rather completely in italics, in another persons point of view. Well this one is it.  
>I hope you enjoy reading.<p>

* * *

><p><em><span>Only For A Night<br>(Part I of the Phoenix Series)  
><span>_

_A CSI Fanfiction_

_Chapter III_

_by Dragodina_

_~Ó~_

_You grow,_

_You grow like tornado._

_You grow from the inside,_

_Destroy everything through._

_Destroy from the inside,_

_Erupt like volcano._

_You flow through the inside._

_You kill everything through,_

_You kill from the inside …_

_~Ó~_

_A pair of crystal-blue eyes observed closely in complete silence.  
>The person sat back in a chair across from the bed, breathing at regular intervals, absentmindedly playing with the brim of her hat while the rising sun illuminated her in bright warm light that fell through the curtains.<em>

_Taught that leaving behind loose ends could end up being fatal, her gaze hardened and she contemplated about whether or not to make the actions that she was obligated to do. _

_She wouldn't even need any weapon. Her most effective one being her trained to kill body –arms just as dangerous as legs- she could end it with only a single snap of the neck. It would be the easiest for her. To add to the benefit, her victim wouldn't even be able to struggle. Not only would surprise be on her side, but the blonde wouldn't be in any kind of physical state to fight back._

_But still, looking down at the peaceful sleeping beauty on the bed, her heart screamed at her not to follow her brain orders. It was a constant war between her persistent rational mind against her rebelling sparked off heart._

_Demons called feelings she had allowed to arouse._

_Flinching at the pounding sensation of a headache against her skull, she leant forward in her seat, gripping the cap intensely and stared at the other female._

_Flashbacks of the night flickered in front of her inner eye, visions that brought back the sensations and emotions that made her skin crawl pleasantly by only remembering._

_She just couldn't command enough conviction and motivation._

_She turned her eyes away from the blonde and instead lowered her gaze down to her own hands, stretching them out and fixed her palmar creases._

_Those hands that had so much invisible blood on it. Hands that were able to do the devils work._

_A devil … that's what she was. And over there, across the room only a few feet away, lay her counterpart. A true angel._

_What they had shared together, had touched her in a way that she wasn't allowed to feel. Touched her in a way she had never felt in her entire poor life._

_Honestly, in the very first minute after waking up, she had panicked, dressed as quickly and quietly as possible and had deeply thought about taking the necessary actions._

_But then her eyes had settled on her, caught the perfect sight of the woman who had given her so much in only a few hours. Maybe the best experience of her life, past as well as future. Illuminated by the bright sunlight shining through the window, her long blonde hair lay splayed out over her bare back, some strands covering her relaxed features, the delicate red lips and beautiful ocean-blue eyes, while her ribcage moved in rhythm with her peaceful sleep influenced breathing. She laid on her front, arms stretched out slightly, the bed sheets loosely wrapped around her hips and long legs._

_In that instant she knew that she couldn't do what she was supposed to do. She would have to live with the consequences of her actions, like she had done throughout her whole life. _

_Just this time the difference lay in the simple fact that she wouldn't take a live, but spare one instead. _

_She simply had to act like it never happened, but most importantly, she had to burn this picture into her mind. Save it like a secret treasure, in order to never forget that image._

_Instead, the panic vanished and was replaced by satisfaction. She relaxed, allowing herself a few more minutes to admire the sight in front of her as long as possible. Because she knew she would never see her again, never feel anything comparable to the connection and bond that she had experienced and shared during the night. At the same time, she felt grateful._

_Grateful that destiny had granted her this experience at least once in her life. Not sure if she really deserved it, that was, or if she would be able to experience anything like this ever again._

_Her eyes lingered on the blondes softened features, her gaze fixed at the left half of her face. What she found there, left her wondering. _

_She looked even closer. _

_In fact, the blondes' lips were curled up in a genuine smile. Unconsciously, that realization made her smile sadly on her own, remembering the bartenders words from yesterday that she had somehow picked up._

_"He is right. You really should smile more often. Suits you much better."._

_Then she sighed heavily. _

_She had to leave, time was over._

_Her soft voice left her lips in a barely audible whisper as she pleaded to no one in particular._

_"Forget me. Forget what we shared. Remember that it was only for this night."._

_Deciding to take the risk, she rose deliberately slowly from the chair, put on her cap and quietly made her way to the door._

_Swiftly sharing one last mournful glance over her shoulder, she stepped out of the room, closed the door soundlessly and disappeared into the nothingness of the Nevada desert. __Leaving a part of her heart and soul behind …_

_~Ó~_

_I wonder if I'm allowed, ever to see ..._

_I wonder if I'm allowed, to ever be free ..._

_I wonder if I'm allowed, just ever to be ..._

_(Jónsi ~ "Tornado")_

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading.<br>Stay safe & take care,  
>Dragodina<p> 


	4. Chapter IV

For disclaimer, return to chapter one and read the introduction.  
>And we're back again to second person pronoun.<br>It just seemed that through the course of writing I fell in love with this style.

* * *

><p><em><span>Only For A Night<br>(Part I of the Phoenix Series)  
><span>_

_A CSI Fanfiction_

_Chapter IV_

_by Dragodina_

_~ Ó ~_

_I'll dance myself up,  
><em>_Drunk myself down._

_Find people to love,  
>Love people too drunk.<em>

_I'm not scared to jump,  
>I'm not scared to fall.<em>

_If there was nowhere to land,  
>I wouldn't be scared at all …<br>_

_~ Ó ~_

Low noises reached your ears and bright light that stirred your eye lids caught your attention and brought you out of your heavy sleep. As you slowly came to your senses, you felt a slight feeling of queasiness welling up deep down inside your stomach. As much as you tried to ignore the sickness or the throbbing headache, it was way too intense to be simply suppressed. But still, you were sure that there was nothing that could come up the wrong way. You swallowed for some relief, but your burning dry throat protested what resulted into a coughing fit.

Frowning, all combined sensations hit you like a tidal wave. Overwhelmed by the impact you flinched, grasping material that felt like a pillow or mattress in sheer agony.

Not daring to open your eyes yet or to move in the slightest way, you relied only on your sharpened wits, the only thing you could rely on right at the moment. The noises that had woken you, had disappeared and you were left in complete silence. A silence that made you feel somehow awkward. Still, for your hangover symptoms, it was pure gold.

Despite the warmth provided by the light, your body felt like a stranger to yourself, your weak limbs were not obeying to any orders your messed up brain sent, and the drumming migraine further intensified its pounding rhythm against your skull without you doing anything at all.

You knew better than to just bolt up and open your eyes in order to keep the headache and sickness at bay, for now.

Again, not feeling motivated to get up in the slightest, you tried to ignore all of it. Instead you attempted to rather concentrate on your surroundings.

You felt a layer of dried but still sticky sweet coating your skin, felt the goosebumps all over your bare arms, your shoulders and your back. You felt the soft cushion your head was so proudly resting on, felt the comfortable mattress you were lying on, felt the sheets that lay loosely over your body, covering you only from your waist down. For a brief moment, you snuggled deeper into the cushion, relaxed, inhaled deeply and felt at ease.

Until you noticed the difference smell of the material and realized that this was definitely not your bed …

Only another second later your eyes shot wide open and you sat up straight promptly.

In turn, a warning burp escaped your raspy throat as your head started to spin instantly and your headache grew stronger by the unexpected quick motion. You felt the urge to throttle that idiot that pounded away with a jackhammer in the other apartment, only to realize it was just your headache tormenting you. The moment you had opened your eyes, you were disorientated. Your stomach was in a state as if you had just rode a roller coaster fifteen consecutive times and your mind felt like you haven't slept in weeks.

But the racing thoughts that had suddenly entered your lame brain let you forget about your pounding head and nausea and instead made you panic.

_Where the fuck were you?_  
><em>Which bed were you lying in?<em>

Well, at least you were actually lying in a bed and not on some basement floor. Something you should be grateful for. Whatever condition you had been in, whatever had happened, you were able to make it to bed … any bed that was.

Sitting there propped up, staring ahead with squinted eyes hoping to ease the headache and finally fix a point that wasn't spinning in front of your vision, the sheet slipped further down, now covering only your waistline and inner thighs. Noticing the fresh breeze that hit your exposed skin nerves, you looked down the length of your own body, only to recognize your fully naked state. Another consideration crossed your mind and left you terrified …

_Fuck! Why were you naked?_  
><em>What had happened last night?<em>

Fearfully you let your eyes wander around hastily, grasping the bed sheet up to your chest in hope to cover yourself in case somebody else was with you, even watching you.

But as your eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light, you noticed with great relief that you were alone.

The room as well as its furniture was simple, the walls painted in traditional pale ochre which made it welcoming and provided a natural warmth, the bed being the centre of it. Across from you sat a TV on a cabinet. Right beside it was a wardrobe, a desk and chair. Fixing the solitary seat, you had forgotten that not long ago it had been occupied, that you had been watched. To the left of the cabinet was an open door that led into a small bath room. Opposite the main door was a small open kitchenette with a dinning table and two more chairs. To your right was a big window curtained and a door that led out onto a small balcony.

You let your head drop down into your hands and breathed a sigh of relief.

Trying to catch all the running thoughts in your mind and fish out the most important ones, you forced yourself to stay calm and control your raged breathing in order to compose yourself. Even with the still pounding headache, you remembered leaving the LVPD garage in sheer frustration, turning up in some kind of bar outside of Las Vegas. You recalled getting drunk – heavily drunk. There was beer involved … and whiskey … apparently a lot of both.

Suddenly the flashbacks changed, unfamiliar faces appeared and slipped by. Faces and features you couldn't place or put a name to.

There was this charming bartender … then an annoying student … a horde of horny truckers …

Panic settled down in your heart and abdomen for only a brief second by the gruesome thought that you might have had sex with one of those men, especially with one of the truck drivers. The fear deepened as you even thought about another possibility …

_Have you been raped?_

You couldn't stop the overpowering vomit to escape your lips. Instinctively you brought your hands up in order to cover your mouth. Luckily, it was nothing more than saliva, your digestion had already done its service long ago. Still, you were left in a heavy coughing fit which took several minutes to bring under control.

There were so many blanks. Holes that needed to be filled. Answers to be found, or else you would go insane then and there.

Before your mind could further settle on the horrible possibility, another face appeared in your vision. A memory that struck you intensely, involving a beautiful yet mysterious brunette woman with her shrewd crystal eyes that had totally taken your mind and body over. Recalling the young womans features, you felt like you calmed mentally. Somehow, only the thought of her made you feel safe.

You tried to concentrate on her face, sensing that she would be the defining flame to finally enlighten your dark blanks.

Your eyes started wandering again and strangely enough they settled on the door that let outside. Flashbacks filled your vision that reminded you how you had entered this room in her company.

Drifting deeper in your memories, the very first thing you recalled was her striking but beautiful ice-blue eyes and the impression that those orbs hold. You visualized her long elegantly curved brown hair, the small lanky yet powerful figure. You felt her soft but rough skin underneath your fingertips, felt that pattern on her shoulder …

Intuitively, your hands wandered up to your mouth, your fingers tenderly tracing your still slightly swollen lips, remembering her soft counterparts pressing against them, kissing you passionately.

Piece by piece returned and you remembered stating an unmistakable offer. One that was totally against your nature. One she had agreed on.

That hadn't just been a dream, had it? Because it felt far too real to be only an imagination!

A mild stinging on your back and shoulders caught your attention and turning your torso around halfway you spotted the fresh red scratches in the reflection of the television.

She had marked you. Even more, she had kept her promise. She had made you feel alive. In those few hours together she had made you forget about every shit thing in your life and instead showed you how to feel loved and cared for.

But still, now that you woke up alone, you tasted the bittersweet consequence. You felt empty again. Empty and lonesome.

A feeling you had lived with for a long time now. It had become a familiar companion, yet you feared that you would get used to it.

Somehow you had wished that she could end it, your loneliness. But still, you had an agreement. What had happened, it was only for a night. You were left with memories. Left to forget about your emotions, sensations. Left to be alone. You wondered if that was your final destiny.

Honestly, if your mother would knew what you had done that night, she would disown you instantly, without any regret.

Which lead you to a question for your own:  
>Did you regret the night? Did you regret your decision?<br>Well, in some way, you felt ashamed. Ashamed about the fact that you had broken with your usual morals. That you just had your very first one-night stand.  
>But did you feel regret after all?<br>No, you didn't. There was a slight feeling of mourn, yes. Although now it felt like you were the prisoner who had made a jailbreak but was captured and looked back in his cell, you were glad for the swift experience.

Having the knowledge that you could hide the next four days in here, you laid back down on the bed and closed your eyes again. As the exhaustion took over your tired mind, deep down in your heart you hoped and wished that maybe a single old saying would come true:

You always meet twice.

_~ Ó ~_

_Sometimes I wish for falling,  
>Wish for the release.<em>

_Wish for falling through the air,  
>To give me some relief.<em>

_Because falling's not the problem,  
>When I'm falling I'm in peace.<em>

_It's only when I hit the ground,  
>It causes all the grief.<em>

_(Florence & The Machine ~ "Falling")_

* * *

><p>Hope you enjoyed reading and might have been inspired to write a short review ;)<br>Again, this was the last chapter. I thank you readers for your interest.  
>For now, stay safe and take care!<br>Lovely greetings,  
>Dragodina<p> 


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